Tastes Like Clorox Smells

In my opinion, life is not worth living. But spending 5 days in Indianapolis at Star Wars Celebration III (aka CIII) has changed my outlook (temporarily of course).

CIII was the ultimate experience. And this is coming from someone who never attended CI or CII or was a very large Star Wars fan in the first place. I really liked the movies, but I didn't consider myself a large fan (and I'm not talking about my weight). Before CIII, I thought the people who dressed up in costumes were just plain weird, but now – let's just say for the next one, I plan on being a stormtrooper.

I was going to go into grave detail about what happened during CIII, but I was told what happens at CIII stays at CIII. So, I'll just summarize.

The Players: A friend (the big Star Wars fan), A friend of a friend (whom I previously met on a few occasions and a member of the 501st), and A complete stranger (who is a friend of the friend of a friend and the director of some documentary called Heart of an Empire). Oh yes, and per definition, we are all men.

The Drive From NC to IN: Although we spent over 9 hours driving to CIII, it was clear after a few hours that were all going to get along very well. Which was good considering we were going to spend 4 days in a hotel room together and would have to drive back. There were a few incidents on the way, including:

• Tailgating a flatbed loaded with a large metal beam and seeing how close we could get to the beam without touching the windshield.
  


• An incident involving a unisex public restroom and a lock that didn't quite work ('nuff said)
  


• A seemingly psychotic breakdown of one of the passengers as he uttered into nothingness, “Home...Home...This isn't good” (turns out he has a wireless headset for his cell phone and it takes voice commands)
  


• Numerous stories (which should never be repeated).
  


• Re-design of the website for Heart of an Empire by Matt
  


• Cruising around the hotel several times in circles trying to figure out where the hell to park the van.
  


• A lot of swearing (that's just because I spoke)
  


• Saw the footage of Heart of an Empire that would be shown in 2 panels during CIII (click here for a review on starwars.com).
  


• Waiting in my first line at Steak-and-Shake
  

The Days and Nights of CIII:

All the days and nights seem to meld together, but here are a few of the highlights: (keep in mind there there was roughly 30,000 people at the convention)

• Waiting in line almost 4 hours the first day just to get into CIII (and there were people much farther back then we were).
  

• Lined up at 5am on day 2, just to get into CIII
  


• Saw tons of people in costumes – saw Darth Vaders, Storm Troopers, Clone Troopers, Fem Troopers, the Elvis Trooper (only 1 of those exist), Imperial Officers, Jedi, Emperor Palpatines, General Grievous', Lukes, Leahs, Slave Leahs (which attract an excessive amount of attention), Chewys and dozens of other characters I couldn't begin to name.
  


• Waiting in line for almost 6 hours to buy CIII stuff including the “CIII Exclusive” Vader figure (which I plan on running over with my car and posting the results on my website).
  


• Saw clips of Episode III, B-actors, and other really cool stuff.
  


• Met lots of interesting people while waiting in line.
  


• Learned there is nothing more intimidating then a storm trooper pointing his gun at you and saying, “Move along”.
  


• Was within inches of meeting George Lucas, but it turns we were being punked.
  


• Had an attractive girl talk to me in the mall – I'm not sure what happened, I blacked out once she spoke.
  


• May have had sex (but it has been so long, I don't remember how it goes)
  


• Slept with a director of some documentary (ok, it was just sleeping in the same hotel room)
  


• Helped out with setup on the 2 panels for Heart of an Empire.
  


• Spread the word about Heart of an Empire and even carried the poster around the convention center.
  


• Learned about the 501st and the work they do.
  


• Also discovered I need to build my own Storm Trooper costume and join the 501st.
  


• Updates made to Heart of an Empire website by Matt
  

The Drive From IN to NC:

• More stories (which should never be repeated)
  


• A lot of swearing (that's just because I spoke)
  


• Snow
  


• More Updates made to Heart of an Empire website by Matt
  


• Recap of all the experiences of the past 5 days (never to be spoken again)
  

All in all, the trip was the most awesome experience I have had for as long as I can remember (although the birth of my son may be a close 2nd). I would definitely do it again.

And if I didn't mention it, see “Heart of an Empire”, a documentary on the 501st, to be in theaters in 2006.

Manha Manha

If you don't remember this when you were a kid – you're in for a treat. Once you hear this, you will never, I mean never get it out of your head.

It had been years since I hear this song, then one day while watching the pilot episode of “Committed”, the lead character sang a small portion of it. After that, the song was stuck in my head. I could remember the entire song as if it was yesterday. In a subsequent episode, her cell phone had that song for its ring tone.

After that, it appears in a Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper commercial (which by the way if you have to put that much stuff in a Diet Dr. Pepper, it must taste really bad before).

So click on the title of this blog entry - download and enjoy (sort of).

Britney? Pregnant? Playboy?

I read the news today, oh boy - seems that the girl of my dreams, Britney Spears, is pregnant.

This brings fears and hopes that one of my greatest dreams may come true. I have three dreams about Britney:

Dream #1 Marilyn Manson and Britney Spears doing a song together
Dream #2 Britney Spears nude in Playboy eight months pregnant
Dream #3, Britney, Pink, and I .... (ok the whole world doesn't need to see that one)

Well, maybe at least one of these will come true. Of course I've been told that my Dream #1 may be one of the signs of the end of times.

Baby, do have my number?

No my number is not 867-5309 (sing along if you remember the words). But after that number hit the airways back in the 80's, everyone called it for every area code. But as I said before, that's not my number

My number is 310-597-3781. Ok, actually it's not. But if you call that number you may get to talk with Agent Jack Bauer. You know, that guy on 24? The TV show?

Well, it seems the TV show got sick and tired of using 555 numbers or at least had difficulty with one. A few weeks ago, they needed to show a phone number for caller ID on TV, but they could not get it to display a fake 555 number. So the show decided to use one of the stage hand's (or someone who works on the show) cell phone number instead. What they didn't expect was the number of people who saw the number for the brief moment on TV, then called the number. According to People magazine, they received so many calls after the first show, they just leave the phone on the set and just let anyone who wants to answer the phone.

So tonights episode went one step further. Jack gave out his cell phone number, 310-597-3781.

So give Jack a call, see what he is up to.

When I Close My Eyes

When I close my eyes I see arrows. Left, Down, Up, Right. They vary in color, speed and the order in which they appear. But I see them when I close my eyes.

Why is that you ask? (if you didn't ask, then stop reading, the rest of this is just to answer that question. And if you don't care then why are you reading this blog in the first place? Huh?) Because of DDR, or to be more specific DDR extreme.

For those unfamiliar with the term, DDR stands for Dance Dance Revolution. This is a game that has been around for quite a few years in Japan and the US. You may have seen the games in the arcade. You can't miss them. Just look for young girls and/or guys dancing in front of a video screen with loud music. The purpose of this game is to use your feet to hit the directional arrows on the controller below you to precisely match the arrows on the screen. If you do it right, you look like you are dancing. If you do it wrong, you look like me.

But how does someone like me, a 30-something, follicly-challenged, average build male get into a game like this? (again, if you don't care, you know the drill.) It wasn't easy. I'd seen the games in the arcade, but since they are always surrounded by young teenagers, I normally stay away from it (and it's not just because of a court order). But one day I found myself in an almost empty arcade. I saw the DDR machine, looked around and thought, WTF? So there I was, inserting handfuls of tokens, selecting the beginners mode and jumping around like a man on fire. It was exhilarating. Gave me a sense of freedom. I also worked up quite a sweat.

On the way home from the arcade I stopped at the somewhat local Game Stop. Found the DDR extreme game for the PS2, which included a basic dance pad controller. I took it home and played it for about 4 hours. After about a week, I danced my way up from beginner to light. At this point I still may not be able to keep up with the kids, but given enough time, I will be able to give them a run for their money.

So if you have ever wanted to play DDR, but were afraid to approach it in the arcade, give me a shout, come on over and I'll be happy to show all the loose and easy women how it works.

But a word of warning, after a while, when you close your eyes, you will see arrows.

May I take your order - from way over here?

I just read that McDonald's is thinking of outsourcing the order part of the drive-thru experience. They want to create a remote call center for drive-thru ordering. Just think, next time you pull up to the drive-thru in Charlotte, NC, someone in India may be taking your order.