Thursday, November 9, 2006

Turn Signal or Pedophile?

There is a special place in hell for rapists, pedophiles and people who don't user their turn signal.

When I'm driving, and the car ahead of me turns or switches lanes without using their turn signal, I shout out, “Turn Signal or Pedophile, it's your choice!” Some people are shocked I would even put those two things together, but they are quite similar. For example:

  • Using a turn signal is common sense - NOT molesting children – also common sense.

  • It's very simple to use a turn signal - also very simple NOT to molest children.

  • Using your turn signal shows a sign of respect for others - NOT molesting children shows a sign of respect to others.

  • Not using a turn signal leads to angry drivers, near misses and collisions – molesting children leads to angry mobs, jail and being beaten to death (if your lucky).

  • It only takes a little bit of brain power to use the turn signal – it only takes very little brain power to NOT molest children.

  • Not using a turn signal makes Jesus cry – same goes for molesting children.

Now, I know you smokers won't understand this (that's because smokers can't even figure out what the car's ash tray is for – also we know what smoking symbolizes – that's another blog altogether), but the thinking population (humans) should easily undestand this. One evil leads to another. Marijuana can lead to harder drugs, like cocaine (she don't lie, she don't lie, she don't lie), shoplifting can lead to bigger crimes and everyone knows once you kill your first person, the next becomes easier. So, it goes to stand that when you stop using your turn signal, next thing you know you are on the Internet propositioning a 10 year old girl (the fact that she is most likely a 37 year old man is a different blog altogether).

It's not just my opinion, it's scientific fact. Dr. Harvarfanerhufar, in early 2006 did a study of convicted sex offenders and discovered that NONE of them use their turn signal while driving.

Of course everyone will deny this is true and say how absurd it is, but I think you will find that same response from pedophiles when they are confronted – they deny it is true and say how absurd it is – I've seen this on Dateline and on the local news.

So next time your driving, and you see someone NOT using their turn signal, call out, “Turn Signal or Pedophile!” Of course you already know which one they are.


Wednesday, November 8, 2006

Who Am I?

I was conceived on or about Valentines Day, 1969.
I was born on a Saturday
I was born in the year of the Cock (some Chinese calendars say it's the year of the rooster, but the other is more descriptive)
I am a Scorpio in popular zodiac tradition.
I am a Snake, with my plant being the Thistle in the Native American zodiac.
I was born in the Egyptian month of Tyby, the first month of the season of Poret (Emergence - Fertile soil).

My date of birth on the Hebrew calendar is 27 Heshvan 5730.

My birthstone is Citrine, which helps connect with the Spirit, although Jewelers tell me it's Yellow Topaz so they can sell me stuff.