Dragon*Con 2006 - The Report

I've been delaying my report on Dragon*Con this year for a few reasons, none of which I will share with you at this time. I was going to report on the panels I attended, the bands I heard, the costumes I saw, the celebrities I talked with in the bar, and the general party atmosphere over 4 days, 3 nights, 3 hotel conference centers, and various hotel rooms. But instead I'm going to sum up Dragon*Con in a different way

Dragon*Con is for Whores. I don't mean this in a bad way. I'm a whore. That's what I went there to do. I went to party and push my website, t-shirts and books. I gave away buttons with my website logo and business cards left and write. I was a whore for my website. But I'm not the only one. About 95% of the people at Dragon*Con are there to whore themselves or their business.

Every single Dragon*Con attendee is one or more of the following:

• In costume (in your underwear, almost naked or wearing a kilt count)

• A director of a major motion picture

• A director of a soon to be major motion picture

• A directory of photography of a soon to be major motion picture

• A writer

• A “writer/director” of a fan film (and I use all of those terms loosely)

• An artist

• Selling product (books, movies, stuff, pictures of themselves, etc)

• Selling themselves (stars, bands, girls with candy bras, etc)

• Someone wanting to see/buy any of the above (this is only 5% of the people).

And I can't wait to do it again next year.

Oh yes, I almost forgot - Dragon*Con should be called "Breast*Con".

What? Huh?

Recent times have been disorienting.
Lots of things spinning around.
Confusion hits me at every turn.
...

Where was I?

Dragon*Con, Shout Outs

Dragon*Con is over. I have returned, but I have not recovered from the experiences (Imay be hungover for several days). Updates will be posted in here, along with a page of pictures - all will be posted by the end of the week.

I handed out a lot of buttons and cards, if you got any of these and have found your way to this site, please use this Contact Us link or post on the Regis Jack MySpace page.

Iwould like to send his applogies to the girl I met on the 21st floor on Saturday. I did come back to check on you but you were gone. Sorry it took so long for me to return (I blame Jay).

One more thing, if you have a picture of me in some compromising position, I would love to see them and use them for X-mas cards.

Dragon*Con and the Rebirth of RegisJack

It's been quite on the website for a few months. Some people thought that I may have given up, stopped writing, or even committed suicide. Where is the Regis Jack everyone knows and loves?

He was dead. But not anymore.

Regis Jack will be at Dragon@Con this weekend, wearing his kilt, giving away buttons, signing autographs (for the few that may actually care), and displaying a few of the new graphics found on the T-shirts at regisjack.com.

I believe I have create some of the most offensive T-shirts that even hardcore people wouldn't dare wear them. If you haven't seen my line of “Suicide Shirts”, go back to regisjack.com and check out the store. I'm not just saying this to sell shit, it's dare. And if promoting suicide is too much for you, there are some religious items that are basic, but will piss off any Christian you may find.

So as I, Regis Jack, become reborn, I begin writing again, continuing my work on, “Probe of Uranus”, a humorous SciFi novella about a guy who wants to use a time machine to get laid, but ends up as the key to the destruction of the universe. It will have humor, sex, rape, death, time travel, space ships and some scenes that may be too much for a traditional publisher, so you will have to find it on my website.

Ok, enough self promotion, I'll do enough of that at Dragon*Con.

If you see me there, say hi – I'll be easy to spot - not young, bald, denim kilt, flashing lights, lots of buttons attached to give away, painted nails, rosary, and talking a lot to people I don't even know. I won't be the most freaky person there, just freaky enough to get some attention. You will find me anywhere Traci Lords goes, at the nightly drum circles, or otherwise looking to get laid.

So, alas, I must sign off as I head down to Atlanta, Ga for Dragon*Con 2006.

One of the Seven Seals has been Broken

Back in April 2005 (if anyone remembers back that far), I confessed my ultimate dreams about Britney Spears and it seems today one has been realized.

Britney, pregnant, nude (in today's standards), with black hair on the cover and inside of August 2006 Harper's Bazaar magazine. Ok, so it's not nude in Playboy (like Dream #2 states), but the dark hair makes up for it.

So now there are only 2 Britney dreams left – next stop Marilyn Manson.

On The Set Of Heart Of An Empire

This past weekend I had the opportunity to be on the set for some green screen shooting for Heart of An Empire (click the link, check it out). My friend, lets call him “Jay” (his real name) has been working on this documentary for several years and is in the final editing process. This weekend was some green screen work for the intro to the movie. When he called me up and asked if I wanted to help, I was more then glad to do it.

The shoot was pretty cool. In Attendance were:

• Jay (Producer/Director)

• Dave (Asst. Director/Associate Producer) with his 7 year old daughter in tow

• Matt (Marketing)

• Justin (Editor)

• Chris (The Sand Trooper - the star of the shoot)

• Regis Jack (no useful talent)

Although everything did not go perfect – missing cables, dead batteries, video transfer problems, the “star” of the shoot was delayed – it was, in my opinion, a very successful and entertaining shoot. Even though I don't have any experience in making movies (not legitimate ones at least) I did get to do a few odd jobs.

• I walked back and forth in front of the green screen to help test the cameras and equipment before Chris arrived.

• Turned some lights on and off (after appropriate instructions from Jay)

• During the shoot with Chris, I became the prop master. For each take I would look over the Sand Trooper costume and straighten out, reattach or correct anything out of place so that it would look as perfect as possible for each take (and man there were a lot of takes)

• Helped out as Jay needed (if Jay says jump, I say, “What!?”)

I learned a lot that day. I learned that the lights on a movie shoot are hot, hot, hot. No amount of air conditioning can stop the heat. And if it was hot for me, it was much hotter for Chris in side the armor. I also learned not to lick the lens of the camera; Jay wasn't very happy with that.

I also got to hang out in the almost completely unknown offices of Bedford Falls Graphics (Matt's company which does the website for Heart of An Empire - it's in the same building as the studio).

And Matt was filming a Webumentary episode for the website, which contains a brief interview with some of the crew and also me. So check it out on the Heart of An Empire website – it should be published soon (should be episode 11).

The end result of the shoot looked great in the raw footage and will look even better once the background and opening credits are applied.

Overall I had a great time and would gladly do it again. It's strange, I normally I like to be the center of attention, but it was great to be a part of something larger them myself. This isn't something I get paid for (and I don't expect to be) – all I ask is that Jay and Matt make my website link bigger on their “Friends of Heart of An Empire” section of the website each time I help out. After all, I am a media whore.

Look for Heart of An Empire in theaters, hopefully in 2007.

NASCAR Math

As the NASCAR season starts again, I felt it was important that I put in my two cents on the subject. One of the things I like most about NASCAR is naming of signature moves based on the driver it most exemplifies.

For instance, what had been known as the 'bump-n-run' will forever be known as 'the Earnhardt'.

When a driver really, really, really, really extends their fuel mileage, they are pulling a ‘Newman’.

Giving someone the finger is now called flipping someone ‘the Stewart’.

If you’re constantly finishing at least 1 lap down, that’s a ‘Wallace’ (or an Earnhardt Jr).

And last, but not least, if you are constantly changing the rules for no other reason then to piss people off, you're called ‘NASCAR’. I’m not saying any of this is true, fair or even just, that’s the way it is.

Besides drivers being linked to moves, drivers are also linked personality traits. For instance, being an ass is said to be like ... well that was a bad example, because that varies from race to race, but the term 'Young Guns' has been used to describe the drivers still in diapers ... ok, again, not the best thing to say – I meant the young teenagers, etc that are driving – not the 'Seasoned Veterans' (which may also be in diapers).

Then one day I sat down and started thinking (and boy are my arms tired), there is yet another thing that binds drivers together. Their numbers. Although you will find other drivers and other formulas to use, here is my favorite.

((Jimmy Johnson / Kyle Busch) * Tony Stewart) / Jeff Gordon = Dale Earnhardt Jr.

If you look at it from the math point of view you get: ((48/5) * 20) / 24 = 8

Ok, I know, now you are asking your self what this means (go ahead do it, ask yourself, I'll wait)... I don't know, but it looks cool.

That's the way I see it. Sorry you had to read it.

Additional: I was going to say that if you car is running long and hard all day, that’s called a ‘Johnson’, but I wasn’t sure anyone would think that was funny.