Podcast Name Change

Well, I finally had to give into society - but just a bit.  The podcast will no longer be Satan's Jello Chunks. Seems I'm not allowed to advertise in some spaces because it says "Satan" in the title.  Now this isn't me giving in, it just me trying to reach out to a larger audience so that I can creep out more people.

So now the podcast and website are of the same name - The Regis Jack Experience or TRJE for short.

That's it, no biggie.  See Ya.

News and Updates

Hmm, been having trouble with the name of the podcast changing.  Seems my plugin and wordpress had a conflict. I have corrected it - finally!  The website will show "The Regis Jack Experience" while the podcast will still be called "Satans Jello Chunks" - the only different then six months ago is that I removed the appostrophe because it caused issues.

That's my recent News and Updates. Not that exciting.  Sorry you had to read it. - Regis Jack

Santa Claus Is Coming For You

Warning: This is not meant to be read by children or anyone who is offended by, well anything.

It's that time of year when we celebrate the man of the season, that jolly old elf, the stranger from the manger - wait, strike that last one, that's what Christmas is REALLY about.  I'm talking about Kris Kringle, aka Saint Nickolas (or just St. Nick for short), aka Father Christmas, aka Santa Claus.

No matter what name you refer to him as, he will always be Santa Claus to me.  And when I think of him I think of the North Pole, Mrs. Claus, his elves that make the toys, his sleigh and flying reindeer - Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen and Rudolph (by a strange coincidence those are the name of the strippers I saw last night).  But the most important thought that comes to mind is that Santa is magic for children, but not for me.  For me, I see his evil purpose.

Valentine's Day – A New Beginning

Well, it's been two years since my last Valentine's Day rant and it's time to do it again. But first, let's recap.

Valentine's Day, 1969 – the day I was ... conceived. Yes, believe it or not, there is a high probability I was conceived on that very holiday back in nineteen hundred and mutual oral sex. This would probably explain my - curiosity over the day..

When I was wee lad in elementary school back in the old country, we exchanged valentines with our classmates every February 14th. This was at a time when you only gave valentines to people you liked. This meant, I didn't receive any. This was before the "give everyone in class a valentine" rule was in place to insure no one felt left out. I didn't care for Valentine's Day.

Serious? Funny? Whatever!

It has taken me quite a few years to figure myself out. And while I won't know everything about me until I finish my biography (and NO ONE wants to read that), I have uncovered clues to my worldly troubles.

I live on the double edge sword of being serious and funny.

There are some people who think I'm serious when I'm being funny. They don't get the joke; they don't understand the punchline; they don't get my humor. Their lack of understanding makes them believe I am serious and not joking. They take offense when they should be laughing. To these people I am an ass.

There are others who cannot take me seriously because I am funny. These people have seen me be serious, but no matter how hard they look, their short sightedness only see me as funny. To these people, I am a clown.

Then there is yet another group that continually flip flop. They fall under both categories and pick and choose at the worst possible times. When I speak to these people, I flip a coin – heads they will think I'm serious – tails, I'm funny. But I'm only allowed to flip the coin AFTER I speak. To these people, I'm an ass clown.

This explains most of my problems in life so far. It explains why I am where am I at right now. It explains why ... well, let's just say I understand.

So when I write, or speak, it all comes out the same. Am I serious? Am I funny? Fuck it, you'll never understand. To you, I'm just whatever.

Leave Me Alone (but Don't Go Away)

I'm really sick and tired (and tired always follows sick) of "friends" giving me positive reinforcement to try to help me out of my soul crushing depression. So just to let everyone know and to set the facts straight:

Things are NEVER going to be all right.
Nothing will make me feel better.
Time will not heal all wounds.
I will not find happiness again.
I will not "hang in there".

And I will never, ever, as God as my witness, find someone else one day. I don't want to find anyone else. I never want to find someone else. I can't even imagine any circumstance in which emotional or physical contact with another human being would be good.

I've had a few friends who have said these things, but have prefaced it with, "I know you think I'm full of shit, but," or, "I know you don't believe me, but." These friends have been through this before and they understand. But I still don't believe any of them. They are full of shit.

Just leave me alone (but don't go away)

Life Interrupted

It wasn't that long ago when my life was going so well. I looked forward to each day. I looked even further into the future and was excited to see it unfold. I was comfortable with my place in the universe. I felt complete. I was ready to grow old (well, older).

But not anymore. My life has been shattered. I am in pieces.

I dread tomorrow, as well as the rest of this day. Each moment is filled with doubt, loneliness, and emotional pain. I fear my future, because it is now uncertain. I can no longer find my place in the universe. I'm terrified to grow old. I struggle to find a reason to keep going. I question what I have done with my life so far and question even more why I should continue.

I'm being devoured by the world around me.

But every one in while, even when I feel I can bear no more, there is a spark. A small jolt where I forget about my life, forget about the universe, forget about everything. And for that split second of time, only now exists with no thoughts of anything else, not even a thought of now.

I laugh, I cry, I sit and stare - but it is certain, my life has been interrupted.