Work, Work, Work

Sorry I haven't been around to post anything lately. Seems my day job has forced me to cancel my life in so many ways, giving up the things that kept me somewhat sane. I'm trying to get it all back, but it's a battle. That's all I have time for. Unless you have the bullets I need.

Good Luck Britney

Hat's off to Craig Ferguson, host of TV's "Late Late Show", for taking a stance and not making fun of a celebrity when clearly she was in trouble.

Britney Spears, I wish you the best of luck and hope you find some peace. Look to your real friends for help, and don't give up.

I've been in your position before, we all have at one time - but for us, it's not broadcast on TV.

Good luck Britney, give me call sometime, we can talk.

2006 - WTF?

As usual, there is no one willing to kiss me as we change to the new year, and as usual, RegisJack.com presents its 2006 year in review.

This year, Regis Jack ceased to be an individual and became the Regis Jack Experience – a non holy trinity that more accurately depicts the bizarre nature of my type of entertainment. It also allows each of them to express their views of 2006, in their own words.

Shane (the father)

• My world became Black, but not as in darkness, as in martial arts.

• My world became Gray, but not as in marital arts, as in my emotional state.

• Realized my place in the world (as insignificant as it is)

• I will use 2007 to keep myself in line and away from the rest of the trinity.

Jackson (the son)

• Attended Dragon*Con for the first time (and not the last time) where I whored myself, met some new friends, helped some friends (one of which I helped carry out of the bar), saw a few breasts (ok, it wasn't just a few) and even talked with a few “stars”.

• 2006 was a big year for my involvement in Heart of An Empire, where I worked as the spiritual adviser to the films director at Dragon*Con, and also got to work on the set during filming (a couple of times).

• Completed my Storm Trooper armor - with the extensive help of Matt – and became TK-2063 of the 501^st (I found it ironic to use a significant year in Star Trek lore to represent myself in the Star Wars universe).

• Also created “Renaissance Trooper” and did an appearance at the Renaissance Festival in Concord, NC.

• I will use 2007 to Troop, attend conventions and be the media whore I was born to be. Oh yes and to finish another book this year.

Regis (the holy spirit)

• I ranted at length about my pain, my vision, my dog (of which I never had one), and even manged to sneak in a little poetry.

• Saw Britney Spears upskirt photos. Those images will be burned in brain forever.

• I look forward to 2007 and whatever pussy it may bring.

Ok, there you have it. 2006 in the eyes of the members of the trinity. As for me (I am the Regis Jack Experience itself), I can't wait to see what comes up next.

Turn Signal or Pedophile?

There is a special place in hell for rapists, pedophiles and people who don't user their turn signal.

When I'm driving, and the car ahead of me turns or switches lanes without using their turn signal, I shout out, “Turn Signal or Pedophile, it's your choice!” Some people are shocked I would even put those two things together, but they are quite similar. For example:

• Using a turn signal is common sense - NOT molesting children – also common sense.

• It's very simple to use a turn signal - also very simple NOT to molest children.

• Using your turn signal shows a sign of respect for others - NOT molesting children shows a sign of respect to others.

• Not using a turn signal leads to angry drivers, near misses and collisions – molesting children leads to angry mobs, jail and being beaten to death (if your lucky).

• It only takes a little bit of brain power to use the turn signal – it only takes very little brain power to NOT molest children.

• Not using a turn signal makes Jesus cry – same goes for molesting children.

Now, I know you smokers won't understand this (that's because smokers can't even figure out what the car's ash tray is for – also we know what smoking symbolizes – that's another blog altogether), but the thinking population (humans) should easily undestand this. One evil leads to another. Marijuana can lead to harder drugs, like cocaine (she don't lie, she don't lie, she don't lie), shoplifting can lead to bigger crimes and everyone knows once you kill your first person, the next becomes easier. So, it goes to stand that when you stop using your turn signal, next thing you know you are on the Internet propositioning a 10 year old girl (the fact that she is most likely a 37 year old man is a different blog altogether).

It's not just my opinion, it's scientific fact. Dr. Harvarfanerhufar, in early 2006 did a study of convicted sex offenders and discovered that NONE of them use their turn signal while driving.

Of course everyone will deny this is true and say how absurd it is, but I think you will find that same response from pedophiles when they are confronted – they deny it is true and say how absurd it is – I've seen this on Dateline and on the local news.

So next time your driving, and you see someone NOT using their turn signal, call out, “Turn Signal or Pedophile!” Of course you already know which one they are.

Who Am I?

I was conceived on or about Valentines Day, 1969.
I was born on a Saturday
I was born in the year of the Cock (some Chinese calendars say it's the year of the rooster, but the other is more descriptive)
I am a Scorpio in popular zodiac tradition.
I am a Snake, with my plant being the Thistle in the Native American zodiac.
I was born in the Egyptian month of Tyby, the first month of the season of Poret (Emergence - Fertile soil).

My date of birth on the Hebrew calendar is 27 Heshvan 5730.

My birthstone is Citrine, which helps connect with the Spirit, although Jewelers tell me it's Yellow Topaz so they can sell me stuff.

Dragon*Con 2006 - The Report

I've been delaying my report on Dragon*Con this year for a few reasons, none of which I will share with you at this time. I was going to report on the panels I attended, the bands I heard, the costumes I saw, the celebrities I talked with in the bar, and the general party atmosphere over 4 days, 3 nights, 3 hotel conference centers, and various hotel rooms. But instead I'm going to sum up Dragon*Con in a different way

Dragon*Con is for Whores. I don't mean this in a bad way. I'm a whore. That's what I went there to do. I went to party and push my website, t-shirts and books. I gave away buttons with my website logo and business cards left and write. I was a whore for my website. But I'm not the only one. About 95% of the people at Dragon*Con are there to whore themselves or their business.

Every single Dragon*Con attendee is one or more of the following:

• In costume (in your underwear, almost naked or wearing a kilt count)

• A director of a major motion picture

• A director of a soon to be major motion picture

• A directory of photography of a soon to be major motion picture

• A writer

• A “writer/director” of a fan film (and I use all of those terms loosely)

• An artist

• Selling product (books, movies, stuff, pictures of themselves, etc)

• Selling themselves (stars, bands, girls with candy bras, etc)

• Someone wanting to see/buy any of the above (this is only 5% of the people).

And I can't wait to do it again next year.

Oh yes, I almost forgot - Dragon*Con should be called "Breast*Con".

What? Huh?

Recent times have been disorienting.
Lots of things spinning around.
Confusion hits me at every turn.
...

Where was I?